To most ”squares,” the idea of a swingers party elicits visions of a cramped room full of writhing, sweat-soaked bodies; people uninhibited by ”traditional” sexual protocols.
But, in reality, a sex party is a finely orchestrated get-together that not only requires a good bit of planning, but quite a few rules too. When you’re dealing with a large group of people having sex with one another, there need to be swingers rules in place. These rules at swingers parties make everyone feel safe in the incredibly delicate emotional and physical situation they’re in, and also set the tone for the party.
It might sound surprising, but without rules, swingers parties just aren’t as magical as they’re supposed to be.
The most important rule for swingers new to this lifestyle is discussing boundaries.
Always develop a mutual understanding of how far to go before you engage with any couple.
Remember that swinging doesn’t always mean having penetrative sex.
Some couples only prefer foreplay and oral. While others may be down to have vaginal and even anal.
So, what are your limits as a couple?
I’m not going to tell you to shave off all your pubic hair, but have some consideration toward your potential playmates! It goes without saying that you should take your hygiene super seriously and showering 12 hours before a swingers party is not cool! Some parties have showers so that you can freshen up during the night if things become a little messy.
Unprotected sex is a risk that we’d never recommend taking. Even if you’re swinging with Bob and Mary who you’ve known for years.
You never know what goes on in their sex life. How active they have been in the lifestyle scene, and how seriously they take the safety measures.
This is why, whether you’re partner swapping with someone you already know or going to a swinger club – ALWAYS carry condoms.
Like every sexual experience, if you want to make swinging memorable, then communicate clearly.
Talk to your partner if they like the couple you plan on engaging with. Share any kinks or sexual preferences you have.
At the same time, make an effort to understand what the other couple expects.
No one can read your mind, so unless you don’t tell them what you’re expecting, they wouldn’t know.
Sure, drinking can set the tone and help you calm your nerves before you swing. But, we only recommend drinking under a limit.
Two glasses of wine or beer are enough to get tipsy. Any more than that would be a bad idea because you may lose control over yourself.
The last thing you want is to make the other couple feel uncomfortable just because you had a few more drinks than you could handle.
Swinging is a mutual decision, and you should respect what your partner likes and dislikes.
If you’re planning to swing with a particular couple, but your partner doesn’t want to, then listen to what he/she prefers.
It will only be fun when both of you are into it and truly feel comfortable.
If you’re going to a swinger club then keep in mind that every club has its set of rules and guidelines that they’re quite strict about.
Some of the guidelines include having a particular dress code. Bringing your own booze. And not bringing any hidden cameras (for obvious reasons).
Yet, talk to the host upon your arrival.
There’s nothing more annoying than being spectated by voyeurs who can’t stay quiet. So if you’re watching other couples, then make sure not to make unnecessary noise.
Just because someone enjoys having sex with you, doesn’t mean they’d also enjoy cleaning your gunk.
Whether you’re swinging in a lifestyle club, or at someone’s home, don’t forget to clean your mess. That shows respect for others.
First-time couples should take it slow and spend some time at the first base.
And even if you have the no-kissing rule, then at least, get briefly acquainted with the couple.
Rushing into it may be too overwhelming for your partner, especially if he/she already has a hard time controlling their nerves.
Keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong in telling the other couple that you’re nervous. They’ll go out of their way to make you relax.
A good way to relax before the action is to watch a porn movie with them. It helps to calm the nerves and also to build sexual tension.
And don’t forget to bring the booze.
This should already be obvious enough, but if it isn’t, then do not forget to take care of your hygiene.
Before you swing with a couple, make sure to take a shower, and especially wash your private parts.
And it doesn’t hurt to buy a perfume, and keep a mint because no one likes being around a bad body odor and breathe.
Regardless of how deep you’re into the moment, don’t forget that consent is key.
The moment any of the sexual partners ask you to stop, you need to respect their decision.
This is also the reason we don’t recommend getting too drunk before swinging. Otherwise, it may become difficult for you to control yourself.
If you value your relationship, then make sure not to make your partner feel insecure. Do not undermine their sexual prowess in front of another couple.
The only thing you would achieve by doing that is to make your partner feel hesitant for a second time.
And in the worst-case scenario, it may even permanently damage your relationship.
You don’t have to exchange numbers and become best buddies with every couple you have sex with. But the least you can do is to be courteous by being understanding, polite, and thoughtful.
In a nutshell, behave with them the same way you would expect them to behave towards you.
